Sajeeb Wazed Joy's dictionary of new political terms

Sajeeb Wazed Joy, the son of Bangladesh's prime minister has recently published not one but two extraordinary articles which not only denies that the country's law enforcement authorities are involved in enforced disappearances - the picking up, secretly detaining and often killing of men in Bangladesh - but also that the police investigate every single one of these disappearances and found no evidence of state involvement. 

In fact, not only is there overwhelming eye-witness evidence that law enforcement and intelligence agencies including Rapid Action Battallion, the Detective Branch of the Police and DGFI are involved in picking these men up (over 400 since the government came to power) and that in some of these cases, but also new evidence that the prime minister herself - Sajeeb's mother - has personally authorised some disappearances including that of one person whose whereabouts, 20 months after his pick-up, remains unknown. Moreover, far from the investigating disappearances, the Bangladesh police don't even allow most families to report them. To read a response to Joy's articles see here.

In his articles, Joy defines "enforced disappearances" as 

"fictitious attempts by accused criminals to avoid prosecution and accountability."

Bangladesh Politico has now got its hands on a few pages from Joy's new dictionary of Bangladesh political terminology - and we can for the first time publish some more definitions.

• Awami League - the only legitimate political party in Bangladesh;
• Caretaker government - a mechanism of ensuring more fair elections in Bangladesh which had to be stopped as it risked allowing the election of a party other than the Awami League;
• Corruption - thievery, larceny and kleptocracy solely conducted by the opposition Bangladesh Nationalist Party and other parties that support it;
• Democracy - When elections results in the victory of a party led by Sheikh Hasina;
• Election Commission - a group of trustworthy and incorruptible administrators who say and do exactly what the Awami League asks it to say and do;
• Extra-judicial killing - when a criminal, often under the influence of drugs, shoots himself, (sometimes having handcuffed himself first);
• Freedom of Speech - freedom to speak about the greatness of the Awami League, its current leader and her family members;
• Freedom of Assembly - a freedom that prevents members of the opposition parties from congregating and speaking against the Awami League;
• International Crimes Tribunal - a process which complies with all standards of a fair trial, other than the ones that could allow the accused to properly defend themselves;
• ISIS - a group that exists in every country other than Bangladesh;
• Police investigation - an inquiry which results in a finding that a crime was committed by a leader, activist, member or supporter of the Bangladesh Nationalist Party and other opposition parties and concludes that no member of the governing party was involved;
• Terrorism - any activity conducted primarily by the opposition political parties.
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Please note: this is satire!